I turned on my computer and you didn't log out of your Blogger (despite being in Incognito mode). Sooooooo yup you're being hacked 8)
Okay lah not that serious I know you know who I am, so I hope you don't mind me posting a post on your behalf!
(meh you don't update often anyway)
I know quite a few people read your blog so I'm not gonna write as freely as I do on my own blog, but I just want to let you know this.
(I mean, at least you can read it anytime!)

I'm thankful for you. So, so thankful.
Every day I'm reminded of why I made it this far with you.
I love your conscientiousness, your tolerance for criticism, your acceptance of my character, and your sweet, caring nature as well as your rash, angry side.
It's amazing, as you said, how easy it is right now, compared to any previous relationship.

It's like you think, "Why was it ever hard before?"

Maybe it was because we started out as best friends, and ever so gradually came to this.
Or more possibly it's because we accept and love every strength and flaw we each possess.
What one lacks, the other makes up for. What one is extraordinarily over-the-top with, the other can stop. And when something upsets one, the other knows how to make it better.
I thank you for your tolerance for my laziness, my sometimes-too-direct-and-hurtful comments, my otherwise unacceptable mindset regarding certain matters, and my difficult (perfectionist or not) ways in dealing with problems.
Thank you for always being there when I need you to be, and for every single second I spend in happiness, in sadness, in anger or in pain.

So smile! :D Stop worrying so much, you're the best thing that's happened to me, and will ever happen to me. You're awesome in all your own ways, and I'm appreciative of everything, big or small, you've ever done for me.

You'll never live if you keep worrying.

Confusion

I tried to sleep just now and I just couldn't, I have a billion things buzzing around in my mind at the moment and I HAVE to blog about it, it's just killing me. I'm lost in the sea of emotion, confusion, sadness and bliss all at the same time.

I ask is it okay to worry so much about others? I used to ask myself that all the time, sticking my head out for all those people who don't deserve it. I learnt that lesson the hard way recently and I will never ever EVER treat them as friends again, I am really sick of being treated that way.

iPunks, or my Pri school friends, they are supposed to be my pals right? We are together till the end right? WRONG! I realised how inflexible and ignorant they are to other's feelings recently. They went to USS without me even though we were supposed to try to find a way so that we could all go. Weren't we always the ones who could make anything happen for KC or Aloy? Didn't I already explain that I needed time and space too? They just wouldn't or didn't listen and all my wasted effort on words that fall on deaf ears. I died a little inside knowing that people I felt so close to could do something like that to me, it was devastating.

On the other hand I grew with my secondary school friends over this month, I learnt to gain more respect for them and listen more. They all have their stories, their aspirations and they actually give a shit about what's happening. They understand, they adapt and they laugh it off. I just wish I could have seen all that earlier and befriended them in sec 1.

But what confuses me now is Dino and I. I am really honestly scared, I am afraid of trying too hard, of scaring her away. Every action I take could be the last I need to make. The constant fear of doing something devastating still bugs me, she already reassured me that she didn't think I would do something like that but it's still there. You know how usually whenever you disappoint, upset or anger someone you feel a sadness slowly lifting up on you and then drenching you in sorrow and regret? Well try that with a stabbing feeling in my heart, that's how I feel every single time I do something even mundane or small wrong. Dino doesn't want all that pressure on me but how can I not have it on myself? She is awesome, she is wonderful, every single thing that I wanted and even though she told me I'm great in my own ways I am so petrified that there is a possibility she will wake up or realise one day that she doesn't love me. I feel that every action i make and every single word I say can make a huge difference in the conclusion to this epic saga. Right now I feel like crying but the tears won't come out. I'm not sad nor upset, I'm just really really really frustrated and I want to get it out of my system but it keeps getting stuck. I'm not trying to get anything out of it, it's just how I honestly feel.

I got a wake up call last week, I hit her threshold and it was like a slap across the face saying "WAKE THE FUCK UP!" I was a fool thinking I was doing great. Why can't I accept not being perfect? Why does it bother me so much now when it didn't before? It may sound silly but the DISC Profile makes me seem to understand I am an IC in the profiling and the fear I faces is being rejected and the fear C faces is doing something wrongly. I am so terrified of doing something wrong and being rejected and her leaving that it seems to consume my very soul. Dino already told me that she doesn't like making me feel insecure, that I don't have to be perfect, that I am already the one who tried the hardest but none of that seems to be enough for me. Madly in love was something I used to only believe in fairytales but the reality I am facing now seems to signal otherwise. Why else would I feel so distraught everytime I do something wrong or I think I do?  Worrying would be a normal thing for me but distress is a total newbie here. My mind is just running at 100 miles an hour in a straight line and I wonder why, why in the world am I thinking so much?

Linkin Park made me think recently, "Can't you see that your smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control." and this really hit the nail on the head, that is exactly how I feel the fear of being too loving and smothering her and trying to control everything. I am still being myself at the moment but if I keep controlling my behaviour will I still be me?

I can still remember that the whole time I spent with her today I was ecstatic honestly, holding her in my arms for such a long period of time made me feel wonderful, the edge of joy. Then I hit myself so hard at saying that silly thing at night, and she already told me it was okay, so why am I so paranoid? This love is really insane and unique, it feels so different than everything else, I had to abandon any knowledge of my previous love expeditions becauses it was totally useless in this case when I really am head over heels over someone.

I want to apologise for the length it is getting to at the moment but I promise I will sleep soon and continue tomorrow when I have a fresh mind.

From Mika's new song, "All I want to do is make you happy, All I want to do is make you happy." Because when you are happy, so am I and when you give me that grin, cheeky smile or even that awesome laugh, I find it cute and I laugh not because I find them funny, it's because of how cute she is and why I took so long to find her. Honestly now, my Diamonds are falling down now, not because I am sad but because of my feeling that I am so silly and ridiculous and retarded and so much more. But in this confusion, I can hurt myself  (NOT POKEMON OKAY SERIOUSLY!) and others.

I need to wake up, from my friendships, to see anything that is missing in our relationships and most of all decide what is enough in my relationship and not be overboard and as I lay my head on my tear-stained pillow, maybe the sleep will give me blissful release and hopefully in the morning I may realise the solution to all my problems.

"I miss you, I miss you, I really want to kiss you but I can't..." - Soulja Boy

Cry Cry

Hey guys!

Blogging from my phone cause I feel a need to just got over a super emotional event my grand uncle just passed away, im sure most of you may have lost a relative before for those of you who haven't let me give you a glimpse of what happens. Firstly either you will be with the person when he goes or you are not, depending on what is the situation you can either be not affected much or grieving from the start, I was lucky enough to feel nothing at first I thought I had taught myself to be ignorant to the loss of a family member. How wrong I was, first it started bugging me then it started to eat into me slowly it consumed every part of me. I was lost inside my emotions of sadness, anger and disappointment. Sad that I didn't get to know him more and appreciate him early only fond memories of recent times and things long ago are led embedded in my mind. Angry because I feel I was foolish to not think about it earlier and made myself believe the cup could pass me by. And disappointed at my stupidity and my belief that I wouldn't be affected. I finally understand that death can come I am afraid. My parents can leave too I created a facade for myself that people could last forever but they just left physically and we may see them again in this lifetime. But my grand uncle, father Joseph Tan weill never be seen on earth again. I hope I will see him in heaven if I get there but I will miss him dearly. Going back to the subject, I realised that I can lose my family, my friends to death. I dont want to lose Dino, RKS, wen, spy, Shaun and every single one of my friends. Now that may sound naive but I really don't care. I know they might leave at some point in time but now I will learn to cherish every moment that much more happy or sad, angry or disappointed because ultimately you will only have these memories to cling on to when they leave. But some people I can't even beat to lose them physically but they have to leave sometimes I am not that naive. But now I learnt that everyone in my life suddenly means that much more! I will cherish all you peeps more :) love you guys!

On track with my love life! My sister said that now it is still a honeymoon period for Dino and I but I believe we will get through longer than just this honeymoon. One year from now I know we will laugh at our stupidity either because of us doubting ourselves or because of it not working out. I am hope the latter isn't the case but Dino and I are trying to make it last! So it will I am sure :) lastly end with a quote.

A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.Martin Luther King, Jr.

In remembrance of a great man, Father Jospeh Tan a hero, a family person and a priest who has touched the lives of many.

Love is in the air :)

Okay contrary to my title now I am a little sad right now, I guess I never felt like this before, loving somebody and never being angry with them, instead always feel I haven't done enough. This is not self-pity people, I just want to learn more sometimes. Dino is angry with me now, I have no clue why at the moment as it is, I was stupid enough not to pay attention to what I was saying and hurt her again, people say quarrels happen in every relationship almost everyday, but each on tears at my heart because I found a new way to hurt the person I love. She tells me not to be bothered by it but honestly how can I not be, I hurt somebody without my knowledge and I'm not angry that she is not telling me why but rather at myself for not knowing why. All I'm doing now is saying sorry like an idiot, but there is no point being sorry for something I don't know I have done wrong. A relationship is like a lesson that when you pass with flying colours, you enjoy all the fruits of your labour for the rest of your life, and I intend not to fail this test with Dino, why you may ask? Some people just find her to be quiet, others who know her better know her to be quirky, intelligent and funnily pervy. Personally? She is my Dino, the one who makes me laugh, the one who I worry about even when there is nothing wrong, the one whom I cherish in my heart, my soul, my body. I fear of her feeling I am using her, and above all I am petrified at the thought of losing her. 

Enough with the sad talk though, there are so many more happier things that have happened over the weeks. 

Maybe you realised by now if you didn't know, Dino and I are together now :)! Yay! HURRAY! WHOPEEE! Haha probably should tell you how it was at first.

On the 8th of August after I spent the day eating with Dino, Belson and her godaunts. I finally asked her, it was a bugging feeling something that started developing over the days after her 2nd breakup, I started seeing that most of the reasons I put as "Just cause I'm her best friend that's why I feel that way" were utter rubbish. Things like me being protective of her when she touched Bel's hand or even feeling scared when I couldn't be there for her! All evolved to something bigger and stronger. She told me she wasn't ready for a relationship much earlier in the day though, but I still asked her anyway because I felt the time was right. At Clarke Quay she said she still wasn't ready yet and told me some problems she would have even if we were in a relationship, I accepted the fact that she wasn't ready and began to prepare myself to wait for her to heal first because a two day relationship can ruin many lives.

National day evening, after MJ at darren's house I met Dino for Dinner with WL at town. They ate soup spoon and we talked, WL is a nice girl really(she knows JW too :O) and she is just as silly and retarded as Dino is! Hope I can become her good friend too :x Later on after I sent her back to her block, we sat at the playground and talked, talked about how the relationship should be and re-emphasising the points that could affect the relationship. She also said that she missed me when she was karaoking with YTXE and that played a part as well!  We officially got together then, minutes before midnight and I had mixed feelings going back home, would I be good enough? Would we be happy? Would this even work out well at first? I got my answers soon enough.

The days after that breezed by, papers one after another, hours spent with her, nights spent talking to her and  missing out one dinner without her and RKS! We enjoyed the whole process, us being mushy, retarded and me being super corny! Haha and she says she doesn't like it but who knows :P!

Exams were bad in general, I do not want to comment.

However yesterday we met RKS and we had a good time! Supposed to have sang karaoke but ended up slacking at Dino's house! Which was fun! Chris was sad though! :(((( She felt that she was not part of the group and she felt so hurt. She told us but.... It hasn't gotten much better. I don't want to type too much cause she may be upset as I'm typing too much on the net :x! I AM GOANNA MAKE SURE SHE FEELS PART OF THE GROUP :D! 

Anyway later on I went with Dino to print photos, and she got angry with me! I forget sometimes that she is still a girl and still is sensitive. My insensitive ways I am used to by talking to guys isn't going to work well! I  demotivated her by saying things like "See I told you" and "You sure won't want to do it la"! Stupid of me really, I must remember to take note after yesterday and today especially that I must be sensitive to what I say and what I do, think before doing and saying things Dylan, not on impulse like an idiot!!!! We talked under her void deck to settle the problem and guess what we both cried, not because we were frustrated and angry with one another, but rather because I was so scared and upset that I hurt her so easily because of not thinking. She told me how she felt she was a failure too, in a few things and we talked about that. I love how we settle problems quickly though, feels worlds apart from my other relationships! :) Enjoying it more too.

Now I'm stuck still thinking about what I have done wrong today. I may never learn the reason but I now know that I need to look before I leap and think about how she will react before I say something, I know only so little about my lovable Dino and I just hope I can learn enough to make her happy, after all I want her to always be my baby! :)

"Being loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply takes courage!" - Lovequotes.com :)

Peace out ya'll!!!! :D

Tears like Diamonds falling down

Being lost, lonely, forgotten, in agony and full of fear, all these things are part of being sad. But what is sadness really?

It is an emotion, a feeling that we decide for our body to feel.

I was lost in the emotion recently, but I dealt with it. When shit comes down on you it rains in buckets... But still I managed to persevere. How? Dino. Why? Dino. I ain't even goanna lie. I don't really feel like going into details, most of my buddies who read this can ask me IRL and I will tell ya guys kay?! :) 

I wish I could do more for her, help her take on the world and more. I just want to be there to catch you when you fall but I'm late... always too late. This time I'm going to make sure that I do it right. Help you get through this tough time, because that's what friends are for right? I'm starting to become honest with myself and I'm going to actually say it even if it makes me look weaker IDGAF cause it's okay to be human sometimes. July was May all over again for me. When it all came crashing down it was worse than the last time, funny how I keep thinking I can hit rock bottom and propel myself back up just to get pulled back down to earth again. Well when I was talking to Dino one day, something in me snappped, maybe it was her slightly sad sounding voice or maybe it was just all the problems I had, it was probably both combined, but I cried. The first time in a long time. I couldn't stand it because I really felt it was me against the world, even my family seemed to be against me at that time. But she stood strong and helped me, helped me even though at that time she needed help too.
Now my problems are dead and gone, and I left the broken agony of sorrow behind and moved on, a new stronger person. So like she was there for me when I needed it most, I will be there for her too.
How many of you have seen your best friends cry before?
I have twice, in the span of two weeks for one and once from the strongest person I know and it really broke my heart. The same way Dino said it broke her's when I cried. How can the world cause so many people to think they lose it all at the same time. Simple, it is a barbaric society, eat or get eaten where money is king. It's just my personal view of our dog eat dog world, I hope no one takes offence to it.
On a side note didn't get much sleep yesterday, or the day before... Who am I kidding, I didn't get much sleep any of the days before, DSS, IBE, BMGT e.t.c. All these modules.
Rushing out to meet Dino for Breaky now! Just a short summary of July!!! HELLLLLLL
Okay this is me signing out! Sorry for not having a single post this month! I will post more in August when I have more time :P Peace out people.
"Ohhhhh, I can't take no more her tears like diamonds on the floor, and her diamonds bring me down, I can't help it nowwww, she down in it, she says she's loved but she can't feel it. it's hard to see it falling down, her diamonds on the ground...." - Rob Thomas 

Sugar and Salt

I'm back again guys :)! Well I have been away long enough I guess! Was in Vietbodia for quite a bit and the schoolwork is tiring so not much time to blog but yea I'm doing it now anyway so DON'T COMPLAIN ROAR! :P I will talk about today 1st cause I'm like all confused now and stuff and I just want to talk about it.

Today was a good day actually, I woke up to learn my sis was doing a photoshoot and YAY my eldest sis is back so happy ^.^ Okay off topic but she sent me to school and I reached class on time even though I thought I would be late :O! Dino was late for class though, and she said she overslept like hell~~ Typical Dino :) Then we went to have lunch where we laughed it out with my IBES group, surprisingly I enjoyed the time with them, the guys are awesome and hope to have Pear and Jamie in our class next term! :) One bad thing happened today though, cause most of the time when I am doing projects, I don't enjoy sitting at the sidelines and love to be working, but Dino and I had a misunderstanding today, and me being stupid decided to confront her and tell her about it. Turned out to be a bad decision, she looked really unhappy about it and still seemed to be angry with me. Sure when we said our goodbyes she smiled to reassure me but... Sometimes I just don't know what is wrong with myself...

Let's start with Vietbodia then! The day before we left, Dino came to stay over with Bel :)! We picked Dino up early and had lunch, she was forced to eat some food by my parents, :x hehe typical them, and then I gave her tips on how to avoid eating more at my table xP! Later on we walked around a little and got to talk to one another, I really enjoy those times cause I can really talk about myself and be myself, sometimes society just wants people to be the picture perfect person and that really takes a toll on people! Then she came over to my house, watched lots of Mr Bean live! He was hilarious! Retardedly funny but yea :)! He brings a smile to lots of faces! Then Dino and I talked a little too and laughed and took stupid pictures passing time is fun as hell with her! Then we ate dinner which was awesome CRAB AGAIN HAHA! But this time Dino peeled and ate more :O haha but yea that day was great. We watched Indiana Jones but she looked bored because it was so slow!!! But yea, halfway Bro West came! And we completed the movie. Went out for some provision shopping and then played a LoL match with Bel! Slept late as hell but I didn't give a crap.

Woke up early without an alarm, didn't know how I did that but yea, Dino played with my hair as I lay there, that made me think about how she used to run her fingers through my hair too.. and also of my sis that I thought I wouldn't see in forever. But I just lay there and thought about all the times my sis used to do that to me as I lay there enjoying the gentleness of her fingers as they ran against my scalp. Then I dreamed a little, and got up to change.

Then we got to the airport, the usual pictures, fun and laughter with stupid jokes, I honestly thought I would spend a lot of time with only Dino at Vietbodia, I was right to a certain extent but I made 5 new friends there, I will never forget. We at mac at the airpork, yes airpork :P and then headed back. When we boarded the aircraft I had to leave T^2 :( I was sad cause I wanted to sit next to him but yea~~~ Then sat next to Dino and her bf! Didn't talk much to her I pretty much did eveything by myself and talked to her a little, and before I knew it, we landed.

When we got out of the airport, I couldn't believe we were there, besides the smell there, the heat and breeze still feels pretty much the same, I couldn't tell the difference. Then the buses came and we got the better bus HAHA! And in my heart, the better tour guide. Lucky was an awesome guy who I came to love and respect in only 2 days with him, he had a wonderful personality! Then we headed for the Killing Fields. It started to spark inside me again, the dark side started poking out at me and the only way I could stop myself from smiling when I heard the sadisticness was chewing my gum. But I still quelled it, the starvation of the demon and then a sudden snack, even the slightest seemed to bring it up but in my eternal struggle I still reign supreme. I prayed when we had a little free time, thanking god for letting me control myself and then praying for all the people who suffered under their own countrymen hands.

The next place we went to made me hit my limit for the day. The genocide museum made Christine tear and she was unable to take it but no matter how sad it was, how unhumane it was it just... affected me. I subdued  the animal again, but all I saw brought back memories and then Keith asked me to stop chewing so hard, after I told him why I was doing so he gave a curt nod and told me to not make it too obvious, surprised though, even after he is so unemotional, he actually gives a crap about me more than most of the blind super emotional people. Thank god the suffering(definitely not the same as others) ended quickly and I got back on the bus to a more cheery lunch and shopping spree. Saw sunglasses and I was SO TEMPTED, cause after every holiday I always, ALWAYS buy shades. But managed to subdue the urge. Was finding matchsticks for Perry and GE but didn't find any... Sorry peeps :(

After that we had a rest and slacked in the Dino's room for awhile, found out what Dino and Bro West do sometimes, finally understood them going to bath :O! Then we went out off to a restaurant to eat, we walked there :)! Okay food in Cambodia, I did NOT enjoy at all :P Just being truthful. Went out to the supermarket and saw the insane prices, 20 dollars for a bottle of vodka, 60 cents for a can of beer and the most insane of all 50 cents for TWO toothbrushes WHAT THE HELL, we bought some drinks to play drinking game and then paid and talked a lot of rubbish. Then at night went back to my room with TT and Dino and we talked a little. Then I got called out for a "survey". And got initiated into the brotherhood! :) But after that awesome moment I got heartbroken, I went back to the room to find out that Dino had told TT my phone passcode, I was devastated cause it mattered a lot to me that only she knew, she just didn't know it. I can remember her prompting me "Dyl Dyl, I'm sorry..." said it like three times, then I heard what she said to Brother West and I couldn't take it already, I told them politely to leave and then went to take a bath slowly. At that point in time I was so upset... But then when I lay in bed, I could smell the "Dino" scent on the bed where she laid, and I remembered all the times at her house. I just couldn't convince myself to stay angry at my bestie for long! :) So i decided to forgive her.

Woke up the next day and saw her at breakfast, I gave her a smile and she asked if I was angry, I remembered replying "There's no point being angry cause you already told him, so it's okay", not the best of lines to indicate forgiveness but I showed it with a very sincere smile, and her eyes glowed once more with life, the very same eyes I loved to see my Bestie have back then, now and probably forever :)! Love you Dino<3. Then we went to Cambodian Brewery, I found out I enjoyed neither the beer nor the trip too much but yea it was a worthwhile trip and experience though... Ate lunch at some seafood restaurant and Sucker and I spotted a cockroach and spent most of lunch trying to catch it... Failed though :( Damn smart insects! Then we headed off for the Phnom Penh Township... It was FREAKING awesome DAMN NICE LA, one house costs less than my HDB =.= Freaking hell feel dam pissed but only people working there, or people who are Cambodian or married to Cambodians can buy a house DAM JEALOUS. Then we went to SL Garment and Processing, I didn't enjoy it much although the clothes making was awesome, interesting and innovative. Why you may ask? IT WAS LIKE THEY WERE STALKING US LAAAA! Everywhere got a guy with a camera filming us... taking us... stalking us. DAM WHAT LA! Anyway after that was networking dinner. At first dam boring and Bel complained to me cause I told him not to call people over. THANK GOD I DID THAT! Phillip came to our table, was very serious at first and ate quite a bit, went over what he did for a living, advertising that was quite intriguing, but then he got a call and said "My friends asking me to go drink with them la!" Immediately we clicked after that! He was awesome, talked about SG food and how he missed it,(I did too when I finally came back) and most of all drinking. We were all laughing about it and Bel jokingly asked him "Eh where to drink in Cambodia?" His reply... pure awesomeness. "I'll go get a map."  Almost immediately my table burst out laughing as he went out to really get a map, when he returned I pulled out a pen and he started giving us directions as we giggled away. Then went back to teach mass dance to people and went to Dino's room to slack and prepare for going out. But as luck might have it some people in the other class heard and as we went over to the other room for awhile, they said that we shouldn't go, it's dangerous blah blah blah. And in the end since it was quite late we decided not to go. But we played the drinking game and Sucker got drunk, can't ever forget his stupid phrases la. "Let's go buy a tutu and dance." "I hate Ang Kor man never drinking it again, I rather drink Tau Huey Zhui." Laughed like hell at his misfortune, then slept and sweated hell a lot of cold sweat to clear the alcohol thank god.

Then we had the trip to the university, climbed up FREAKING a lot of stairs la PLEASE, then headed into a small room, had a brief intro, split us up into groups and then sent us to classrooms, my class was doing POA so I wasn't listening to the teacher, instead I was listening to the host exchange student, William and Pear discussing about their countries environment, transport e.t.c. Learnt a lot from there! Then we watched performances and the highlight of all of them? Rosamund singing FULL FREAKING STOP. No fight haha! Then we tried some local Kueh and danced mass dance, haha it was fun. Then we took freaking forever to reach Vietnam by bus and somemore we got stuck at customs =.= Enjoyed the ride though, talked and karoked with Chuan Jun. KPOP WHOO. Then watched the world go pass and saw how lucky I was compared to so many Cambodians. Fell asleep and yea. When we reached Vietnam WHOO MAN OH MAN VIETNAM WAS AWESOME BABY! Hit the road running with Pho 2000 BEST DAM SOUP NOODLES EVER FREAKING HELL P-E-R-I-O-D. Loved it haha. Then went to talk in Dino's room awhile and she refused to bath I remember as she lazied around. Then she decided to change. Bathed into her room and I freaking forgot she was there and took off my shirt outside my room, her reaction was like I DID NOT SEE THAT LOL! Okay nvm about that. Then Bro West came back and Dino thought she heard her Aunty Pearl call her name, so she was scared, when Bel went out for awhile, I prayed with her, I felt her hands trembling as I held them and I held them reassuringly and prayed slowly and calmly for her sake. I hope that made her feel better I have no idea but yea that's all I did. Then it was good night for me.

Day 4 in Vietnam, we hit the ground running, Kinderworld saw the international school one world JEALOUS I wish I could have been in such a kindergarten/Pri school/Sec School but NO 0 regrets for my poly man I LOVE MY COURSE PEEPS :D! Then we performed for them again, again the highlight was Rosamund and Ashlie! Ashlie was harmonising during the performance and did one too many "Youuuuuu" harmonising and that made us giggle but the performance was still very good. Then we went for lunch and went to the Phu My Hung Township, this one wasn't as majestic but was MUCH more well planned. Then headed for Crescent Mall and Shopped for Provisions. Found out chocolate in Vietnam dam cui LOL so didn't get any! Then saw Bel fail at doing a baby frieze and LAUGHED LIKE HELL the whole damn bus laughed like crazy when his cap fell off the bridge into the water. Then on the bus since Ashlie was last we played a sing and stop game, I got caught after 6-7 tries but whatever, enjoyed the singing I did there. :D Then we reached the water puppet show, the show itself was not bad but oh my god after it... "HEY! HO! XIN CHAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in damn high voices like the actors. We even sang boom boom pow in that voice and we laughed like mad. Then we ate the best meal in the whole trip in my opinion. GOD DAMN FREAKING RICE PAPER WITH EVERYTHING AND FISH SAUCE AWESOME PURE AWESOMENESS SERIOUSLY! Ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. DINO CAN TESTIFY, 3 BOWLS OF NOODLES, AND ALMOST ALL THE DESSERT AND FREAKING HALF THE FRIED RICE! WHEEEEEEEEEE.Went back and then we headed for the skybar in normal clothes, only to find out... It was atas =.= So we had to go back and change and get back there. Enjoyed the view up there, really like MBS view except a bit nicer maybe, drinks price cost like SG bar prices =.= so yea. Only ordered a cocktail, and met Slackssociates there, in their full glory. Talked to them for a long time cause Dino and Bro West went to have a talk and even after they left, They weren't done yet, so yea waited for a LONG TIME. And they finally came back, they had Baskin Robins while I asked Dino what was wrong, found out and kept mum about the problems. Then we headed back to slack, probably the most eventful day!

Day 5 in Vietnam, went to Aquarious, they were awesome hosts, explored the company, heard the Singapore Owners talk to us and enjoyed it throughly, the kueh? Not so much... Then headed for lunch, the food by then was going down hill again although it was still edible! We went to a French Restaurant and I had Beef Bolognese, I got to try Czar and Xav's Clams though tasted good, the pasta was good to but took ONE FREAKING HOUR to come so yea. Felt weird cause I was sitting at a more of a TZ02 side and they were calling Slacker Club the Judges, I felt that some of the people calling them Judges were also judgemental people and they had no right to call other people that. Then we went for the worst Business trip to Viet Dragon Securities, almost slept there honestly! We got to go to the Notredame Cathedral and the General Post office! Took some cool photos at the Post Office cause my imagination and MIB haha and then we explored around before leaving. We went to slack at the hotel for a long time and then I went with Dino and Dion yes, Dino and Dion no typo, to the night market and we bargained like HELL or rather I did :x hehe THEY HATE ME YES THEY DO xP! OH YEA THE FUNNIEST THING EVER! Cause Dino wanted a shirt that costs 140000 dong and she said it's the cheapest in the market already, when we went to the other side, we saw the same shirt, so Dion asked for the price, it was 350000 and Dion said 120000, she said 290000 but we didn't care and walked away, you know what? She ran to us to chase us, lowering the price until finally it became 120000. Then Dion said he didn't want it then she started screaming. "YOU RAZY YOU RAZY YOU ASK FOR 120 I SAY OKAY THEN YOU SAY DON'T WANT YOU RAZY GO HOME!" and then the mass laughter ensued. Marcus jioed me for drinking game when we were slacking but I said NO! Then we played werewolf drinking game and we laughed like hell cause we were all so sneaky leaky :P! Then we went to sleep after that cause we were so damn tired.

Day 6 in Vietnam, went for the best workout ever at Cu Chi Tunnel, had an awesome pick up line made there, "Phu My Hung in your Cu Chi Tunnel and make you say Oi Choi Oi" we laughed like crap over it. Anyway there were traps there and I was explaining it a little too enthusiastically to Brian and he was like "Why you know so much ah?" I didn't know how to reply so just smiled. Then we walked the tunnels, the 1st 100m was fun then we went for round 2 150m, BEST 150M I DID EVER LOVED IT HAHA! Came out tired but had an awesome experience. Ate tapioca dipped in peanuts and salt was awesome <3. Loved it like hell :P then we slept on the bus and then ate lunch. Went to slack in the room with Keith for the whole time and CJ and Daryl came over for awhile as we lepaked! Then we headed to the Cruise Ship to eat, food was meh but we made Ms Linda Ng cry cause of our touching birthday gifts to her :)! So sweet love her to bits now ><! Then we headed back, I was supposed to surprise Pear but Keith wasn't feeling too well so I took care of him, then I got jioed to play drinking game with Slacker Club, I thought I would only drink awhile but ended up staying 3 hours. Drank like 10~13 cups lidat of Vodka Mix but didn't get knocked out, Zach died 1st, Will and Ash didn't play, SPY and JY kept smoking with William's friend and Marc has horrible alcohol tolerence haha, was singing "So what we smoke weed? So what we get drunk? We just having fun!" Blah blah blah haha he was dam funny, thought they all left so I went back to sleep.

Last day in Vietnam was okay. We went to the Reunification Palace and the War Remnants Museum, wasn't super exciting or boring... Just neutral so meh.... Then I saw Dino and Bel were having problems but didn't say much. Had a lot of fun shopping with Jamie during the last minute shopping! SHE IS TOTALLY LIKE DINO COPY OH MY GOD IM SO SCARED I WILL BE HER BESTIE TOO I WILL D-I-E! But yea talked to her a lot and laughed quite a bit :3! Then when we were at the airport, Dino and Bel fought very obviously, and I remembered a dream I dreamt, I shall not repeat it here for privacy sake but it ended with them breaking up and I remembered seeing a lot of the things, I have a knack for dreaming some future stuffs but I hope to hell even now I'm wrong. We had a HTHT after they finished talking and we talked about our problems, then she smiled after we finished making me feel as if I at least helped cause she asked what to do about the relationship, I told her Try Harder. And they did on the plane it was so lovely and cute to see them and she was so high. Although the Plane got delayed we hit SG at almost the same time as estimated and Zeh sent Czar home and then I got back. I made Maggie and Nuggets to eat and then slept. 

The next few days of school I talk about it later on bah! As for the first part of today's blog post, I settled with Dino already! We had an oovoo chat to clear any doubts and problems and realised how much we meant to one another as friends! Love her to bits still! DINO HEART YOU! :D I will always be Mama Dino and she is Baby Dino HAHA! 

As always a quote.

"This is for the people with a hole in their heart but still live on, cause one day someone will come by and patch it and show you love again." - Me

Peace out peeps :D

Animal

"Oh oh i want somemore... Oh oh what are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight."

"So what if you can see, the darkest side of me? No one can EVER change this animal I have become."

I know it's a little weird that I'm beginning with quotes, but theres just so much on my mind and the two damn songs I have been playing is Animal and Animal I have Become...

The first quote is because I'm so sick of that person irritating the FUCK out of me when she has problems and then when she has nothing? WHEEE FUCK HIM MAN I DON'T NEED HIM. Seriously I'm getting so tired of it, I even deleted her number and messages I deserve better than that seriously, a friend that doesn't help you but expects everything from you is NO friend of mine. What's better was that she thought I actually LIKED her PFFFT honestly just because a guy listens to your problems and decides to help you DOES NOT mean he likes you... Maybe the thought never crossed her mind, that I'm a nice guy who chose to help her, I'm not her problem solver and just because I helped her once, twice and so on and so forth until even I forgot how many times I did it already. Even at this moment she's spamming me, why can't she understand that I don't want to help someone like her anymore I mean she doesn't even treat me as a friend when she doesn't need help. OKAY GAH SCREW IT Forget her Ima throw her out of my head.

I'm sick of the control honestly, my friends most of my old ones at least, think I'm still the old me, I tell them I've changed, I'm not the same me that was before, I don't have the childish dreams that relationships are perfect anymore, they all talk about how they want another girlfriend and how perfect the next one will be. I just don't believe in it so much anymore, honestly I got her off my mind already but I don't see how I will trust someone enough or get into a relationship again. It took a lot for me to ask Brother North at first too.. She just doesn't know it at all. I see my friend's all still have the bright outlook on relationships and that they are "shy" and don't want to ask, what do i do? I just smile at them and say good luck. They all give me the look, "Bro you can score chicks also LA! You so sweet talker sure can what." I just give another awkward smile, and say some other time. This animal I have become? Double meanings for me now... They both were bothering me at the start of this year, Dino taught me in a very harsh way that I had to get rid of one, but now the other one is still floating around refusing to be squashed... When I look back I still think I was a foolish person to believe and trust her so much but the harsh reality is that IT HAPPENED, and it CAN happen again, I'm trying for it not to weigh me down but I'm just really afraid I may never find Mrs Right... Ever. I may just be one of the nice old guys who are single and everyone wonders why he is...

My emoness aside, these couple of days have been pretty uneventful... I will try to sum most of it up for you guys for your viewing pleasure :) so PLEASE be patient x.x I always blog wayyyyyy too early in the morning and I'm exhausted and yet still need to act high so please bear with me :3.

Today has been bleh honestly, my parents went to Malaysia for a bit, my sis and I stayed home, I played LoL, bought lunch, played more LoL, talked to dino, more LoL, Church, Bought Dinner,even more LoL. I used to enjoy these kind of days back in secondary school now I'm just downright SICK of it honestly I HATE IT. I could be out with people socialising, learning more about them, having SO MUCH MORE FUN than gaming at home. They say gaming is an addiction but you never get sick of what your addicted to... I AM SICK OF GAMING. If it wasn't for the pals I wouldn't be doing it and even so if I had to choose between going out with those same pals and gaming hands DOWN I would pick going out no matter what the place and what we do. So days like today NAH UH do not enjoy.

Yesterday was almost as bad as today, did exactly the same things but THANK GODDDDD I chose to GO OUT WITH PERRY! Got a new friend yesterday, like me he is so matured in thinking but due to other reasons, we feel each other cause we are really damn similar in more ways than one, our route to maturity may well have been different but we still share the same feelings, was DAMN tempted to smoke one stick with him but then I resisted.(HE FREAKING SMOKE THE SAME THING AS MY FRIEND BLOODY HELL) And we chatted a little about how we actually were. I know him from Danny who knew him from Matt who knew him from drinking HAHA that's how the world rolls and Danny's friends are all interesting honestly. Ate KFC with him, he is super funny it's like you combined BOTH Marcuses and Beldric together HAHA! He really was a handful but we had a lot to talk about and laughed about how Danny was when he gamed ;3! Got back early , cut my Mum's birthday cake early cause of my Vietbodia and my parent's yearly dating sessions ;3! SO ADORABLE OKAY MY PARENTS HAHA <3 YOU MUMMY AND DADDY ;D! Just upset with what my sister said cause I think it's true... But it's okay I got over it! :D

The day before I went to school to discuss stuff IBE stuff with the group mates, met Dino before hand after she met Bro West after his trip, I'm happy he came back safe and none of those spirits followed him back :)! Talked to Dino for awhile although we supposed to be studying! Ate lunch and camwhored HAHA! Then she studied Bstats while I finished my BMGT, like finally it's pretty short but yea whatever AT LEAST IT IS D-O-N-E. Then i sent Dino to Bishan and then i left... Or at least i was SUPPOSED to leave haha, in the end I ate dinner with her and Aunty Pearl who really is a nice person :D! When Sherry went to the washroom i had a polite chat with her about travelling in Singapore, she was surprised I knew the Bus transport pretty well! But yea when you spend 10 years of your life travelling, bus routes become your best friend :D! Went back and slacked pretty much. Played Tap Tap with Dino on the bus and I got ADDICTED to it so I was playing it so many times in the car! Haha.

Okay before I continue retracing my steps the previous days, I just felt like saying something. There are things that people do with their parents to show their affection to them, for me, it's holding my mum's hand and squeezing it slighty as we walk. As we all grow up most of us find that holding our parent's hand is embarrassing and stop it all together eventually, not for me. I don't think I will ever get "too old" to hand her hand with her tender grasp, firm yet gentle and she enjoys it too. I just felt like putting it out because I feel that people should really learn how to show your parents affection cause when their gone, you will regret it. Perry told me yesterday that he pitied those people who never knew their fathers or those whose fathers passed away because when they saw us looking at father's day gifts they would be sad, there was no joke or malice inside, it was said purely from the heart and I nodded to comment with a poker face, after all it is true and when I saw how my parents have aged since I was much younger I seem to finally realise they are going to be gone one day and I have to take every chance with them now and make it my biggest.

Wednesday was a pretty good though :D! I went to submit an application for the Ngee Ann Kongsi Scholarship :)! Hope they don't treat the Merit Award as a Scholarship!!!!!!!!!!! Then decided to make Dino a card cause she said she felt very sick :((( It was shitty cause I did it in the car HAHA but yea it's the thought that counts no? :P Then i RUSHED over to her place and caught her just as she was leaving the house! HAHA LUCKY ME :)! Then awkward as hell MRT ride with her bro and her dad, felt scared that her dad would stare at me in the train haha!!!! Went to pool with Marcus and while waiting for FOREVER LATE GUY! Met Andre HAHA! Then talked to him for quite a bit before Marc finally came and then we went to pool. Missed the feeling, I love how pool is skill and luck at the same time! Especially for us beginners and I just enjoy playing it with friends and having a laugh with a random "TYCO SIA!". Then went to Marc's house to slack and do hand AND headstands ;)! Was fun okay haha!

Tuesday was a blast! Went to Dino's house to "Study" but ended up doing everything but it! I went there and she was sick! D: Dammit I HATE it when people are sick and I can't do crap to help them :(! Well i went there and then Belson's gf came too! Haha they are pretty cute together too :P Made pancakes with Dino and the two of them! The batter was salty though :( But the pancakes still came out awesome but I couldn't finish it HAHA and then had to leave some and Sherry scolded me Dx! But it's kay haha she knew i didn't do it on purpose :3! Got to try her cake she made with her God sis! :DDDD was aweshum :P and easy to make too maybe I will try to make it one day! Then I chose to play one LoL game with her bro cause I promised him and she was talking to Bro West anyway! Then when she came back in her room and lay there, she asked me to move over so she could disturb me. I said no but felt bad after that but I didn't want her brother to think I wasn't putting my all in the game because that upsets a lot of people! In the end we still lost the game but it was okay :D! Belson and his gf went off somewhere to... do stuff! :x Then I talked to Sherry about anything under the sun :3. But then she stroked my hair and realised it was rough, that was when she decided to do my hair! Felt good though! Now i get why she said that getting your hair combed feels good! I really felt awesome when she combed my hair :)! It was comfortable as well! And then she conditioned my hair, felt dam soft after that and even now it feels better(Yes i did just touch it HAHA). Then took a couple of photos and talked to her somemore! Then I helped her pack her Vietbodia Bag and YES NEXT TIME I GO OVER SHE HAS TO TRY ON SOME STUFF FOR ME TO SEE HAHAHA! SHE WILL LOOK ADORABLE IN THEM SERIOUSLY ><! So i chose like only one blouse and she chose the rest herself and looked for things to match it with! I know many of you are screaming FRIENDZONED! But yea at least we are enjoying ourselves so idgaf what you think. Then went to eat chicken rice and realised after i finished that it was FREAKING 10 HOLY SHET! Got back and Gamed a little but enjoyed the day a lot cause of the fun time we spent together :3!

Monday was spent playing mahjong with the iPunk gang, although i really used to enjoy my time with the group, now... I just don't know, we don't seem as close although we really really try to be. We all made too many new friends and going out way too little and this is the result, even close friends spread apart. I lost money at mahjong but thats not the point, I had fun playing with them, and then we went to Nex to enjoy food after the marathon of mahjong! Went back and Dota-ed then Slept nothing much to have been done or do. I just wish we had more personal time together, like talking HTHT that kind of thing... just won't happen cause we're all guys and that i really feel is just a damn shame, whenever i speak to Dino or Ryl it just feels different, it's like I can share my emotions freely. Anyway rmb missing Ryan like hell on monday, not much time to find him after he went to that school... Miss our talks he really is the pinnacle of friendship, wish we could catch up! But he's forever busy and I don't blame him, that kind of JC life takes a toll on you!

Sunday was just spent practicing shock and enjoying LoL games with danny and perry. Honestly these two people make games FUN! Forget what i said just now if you play with these guys you ARE goanna have a fun time, when we skype i spend 50% of the time laughing with danny cause of perry and also laughing at danny with perry, they really are super FUCKING hilarious i mean it. They make LoL so damn enjoyable DAMMIT DANNY COME BACK FROM MALAYSIA FASTER I WANT TO LoL WITH YOU ONE!

And take brings us back, one whole week whew I'm actually surprised I remembered what I did, holy crap my memory is getting better HAHA! Shockingly enough :P Okay uber tired now time to end off with my usual quote.  

Two quotes today. First just to repeat what i said at the beginning of my blog post.

" If I want someone, they don't want me. If someone wants me, I don't want them. If we both want each other, they live in narnia or something. " - Condescending Wonka

and Second 

" The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears. And the kindest hearts have felt the most pain. " - Condescending Wonka

Peace out people! ^.^

Days gone Past, Days that Last :)

SORRY DINO HAHA just wanted to put it out that i was supposed to be blogging more often :x didn't manage to!!!! Haven't touched my blog in a long time actually :( wish i did :)! But yea again i apologise for that x.x

I have quite a lot to say today so yea let's get the ball rolling. :D

Today was an awexome day, started out great called somebody like 10+ times before Belson woke up and woke the sleeping beauty awake from her slumber :)! Don't blame you, YOU SLEPT LATE OKAY!!!! 3 :P DONT ASK ME HOW I KNOW :DDDD. Then i took the bus thought i would be super late cause i like missed one 151 today =.= but in the end even after waiting like 10 mins at the bus stop i reached school 10 mins early :O SHOCK-ED(sorry goanna use this metaphor quite a bit cause of something i will explain later :P) then saw the hardworking course people doing their Chinese Dance for the University peeps at CamNam. Got to say it is EXCEPTIONAL plus they look like they are enjoying the performance a plus point :))! Practiced mass dance after that with them since Sahana couldn't make it I was practicing with Valerie, she was enthusiastic and that combined with the not super difficult dance made the experience enjoyable SERVES YOU RIGHT SLACK CLUB PEEPS NEVER COME TO BOND AND ENJOY!!!!!!

Haha anyway while some of them slacked me and Dion went to the back to practice Shock while Dino watched us, I totally regret volunteering for the KPop dance now it is like totally SUPER TIRING to practice and learn but meh whatever I WILL PERSEVERE! Managed to catch the 1st 30 secs so far :) progress on my part already haha! Just 1 min plus more to go since it's only until after the 1st chorus :O! My dancing skills aren't that good so it will take time i just have a good memory! Helped Dino a little too cause she was a little worried about the dance at first! But it worked out well in the end and she learnt how to do it :D Hurray!!! Anyhow after that we filmed us dancing for the other course peeps to learn how to do it! So they have no excuses!!! Ate mac after that the criss cut fries is GOOD OKAY what taste like normal fries? Mr IRuvTaeNy/ MU MU ZI CHE GAN Marcus, CHEAT MY FEELINGS SIA!

Went to Chinatown after that to let Dino buy some of her toiletries :) Cheap sia everything there!@@ now i get why my mum gets a lot of stuff from there! Got a Deo with the help of Dino :P Stronger than the ones i usually use but meh it's okay :D Then we headed for dinner there, Dino couldn't decide what to eat so she told me to get whatever I was getting for her... MISTAKE ON MY PART D:. I got her Zha Jiang Mian and omg the one there is like totally not that good, REGRET LIKE SIAO EH! But in the end we both finished it and it's like SUPER FILLING LA! No wonder all the Chinese people who eat these kinds of things daily are so full, the amount is so small but it fills like crazy!! After sitting down and talking about life for quite a bit, me and Dino then went to walk around, actually wanted to walk around Chinatown at first, almost decided to walk back into People's Plaza, THANK GOD WE DIDN'T! We first headed into Central, saw this enclosure with seats that was quite cool and funky smelling! Sherr spammed lots of photos just like the previous day when we went out!(will get to that later!) And showed me what Bro West was eating and commented on how the food he was eating looked okay even though he said it tasted like crap! Bro West said hi to me so i told her to HI him  back :DDDD! LOL! Anyway we headed out of central and boy do i miss the scene so much. Clarke Quay still looks as fascinating as it did the 1st time I saw it, and still has that majesty and splendor that makes it uniquely Clarke Quay. Enjoyed the scenery there and sat by the riverside with Dino and we talked quite a bit more snapped some photos and then proceeded to walk along the river.

We sang songs as we walked and admired the beauty of the world around us. I missed singing so much, i didn't do it much after i got depressed but now since i got over it i seem to be more willing to pick up on all the awesome things i did before i got sad for that DOAB in sec 2! No regrets at all though, Dino's voice is good :) although i was just croaking along cause i suck at singing. :x Anyhow we walked quite a bit talked about life and whats not(I don't really want to put what we were talking about here, most of it is random and you guys may like lose your mind cause of our retardedness LOL!), and some close to heart stuff to. She told me that she thinks her bro likes me more than Bro West, I don't know whether thats a good thing for me or not... And her bro talking about me being an in-law and how much he would like it and so on. Felt a bit weird and all but yea, I guess being a nice guy does have it's benefits, realising how much people seem to appreciate me more and more as the level of education goes up and how people start liking the nice guys more and more as i grow up, maybe it's cause some of the nice guys give up after awhile and start being asses.... But nah i will never give up being a nice guy. That makes me who I am! :)

Then like the previous day we took purple line back home! She looked so tired :((( I felt quite bad for making her stay out so late and not having the rest!( I will return you a favour somehow babe ><) But she didn't rest on the MRT and continued talking to me!! And then that pretty much sums up my day today. It was wonderful and I loved it a lot. I told Dino how the holidays were living up to my expectations and it was fun as hell and I'm glad that she enjoys the time we spend together as much as i enjoy it too :)! I was really afraid at the beginning of the friendship that i would be too weird, too noisy or too something but me just being me is just what she wants and her just being her is just what i want too! That's why we are Dino Besties :)

The day before was good as well! Ate Korean BBQ with parents had like a freakload of food seriously, the Korean Family next to us was like gawking at our table cause we 3 ate as much as they 5 were having and maybe even slightly more LOL! Plus i still ate rice, i cannot eat meat without rice one, i will just eat less meat x.x.  PS FOR THE BENG TALK LATE AT NIGHT AND LAZY SIA so maybe i will talk like this....

After that waited for Dino inside the MRT at Somerset, didn't wait that long, only 2 hours :)! Used to it already, nothing can beat CHS Marcus so nothing can surprise me now! She was really sorry and she said she would treat me Ice-Cream YAY DINO :D! We ate takoyaki and then went to find stuff! In the end although we were both looking for formal wear for VietBodia in general, she got two pairs of shoes, one of the pairs was a gorgeous pair of heels la, omg it looked great on her :) She should really wear dresses and heels more often! SHE LOOKS GREAT WITH THOSE ON! That reminds me today when we were talking about our schools she said she used to pin her pinafore(Or however you spell it HAH) like a tomboy and how when she went back to band that day her junior was like "WA YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL!" Haha yea Dino you do look great when you are feminine :)! Honestly! Got a short sleeve shirt that i plan to use as an outer jacket more than as a shirt! And finally WHITE JEANS! I asked my parents for ages to get it for me but i finally had to get it myself, no regrets there!Happy to finally have it actually! Dino helped me to pick out the shirt though :) I wouldn't have got it if she hadn't pointed it out! After that we went for dinner at Astons, saw Emer my god i miss him sia dam long never talk to him le!!!! MISS YOU EMER BRO WILL JIO YOU TO GO OUT TALK ONE DAY! And she gave me and Dino the "you two couple bro?" look, the second time that day since Dino's friend already saw us like earlier that day! Was hilarious to see the shock on his face though :)! Ate slow like hell 1st time ever i never finish my food completely at Astons, just lazy to. Found out that Bro South had been there like only an hour ago, MAYBE EVEN SITTING WHERE I WAS SITTING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD with Ben somemore hell sia regret could have went earlier :(! But we went out of the wrong exit at Dhoby and yada yada yada but WHATEVER WE HAD FUN HAHA! Oh yea since we got out at the wrong exit, we were at PS got to eat Chippy again, deep fried friggin Mars Bars, twice in three days INDULGENCE MUCH? HAHA. Anyway that pretty much sums up the day yesterday! Sorry guys don't really like to add personal convo much inside! :( The only thing i want to comment about our talking is that Dino said Bel treats me as her friend, not his friend but yea nevermind that I'm long used to things like that i still treat him as a bro whether he likes it or not and some things i just don't want to care about anyway.

Moving back a couple of days, after the CT on wed me and TT were like stoning so we decided to go jio the iMedia peeps out! Oh and Dino thought there was something wrong with me on that day when there really wasn't just felt funny that she thought something was honestly wrong when nothing much happened :P! Spent a relaxing bus ride to Bishan while playing Tap Tap!( MISS TAP TAP MANNNNN) And then meeting HE for a bit first. Saw Esmond too! Miss him man Esmond you one of my favourie juniors of all time seriously, the only one who listens and really respects me as a senior :)! I mean sure we always joke around but yea you really made my sec 4 iMedia Life much better! Then we stalked around J8 a lil before Marc came and we wrecked havoc LOL! TT got a new phone and is like dam happy with it now :)! Glad he likes it hope he doesn't throw it around like he did with his old phone :D! Then Marc went for tuition and we stoned for quite a bit before we finally decided to call BAWS and head to AMK to catch MIB3 and man do i not regret it! The papers said there was too little action and too much plot, i agree about the plot part but i felt it was very well planned and emotional and Will Smith still acts as well as he used to way back when! Action was also decent enjoyed it :D! Oh yea suddenly remembered Dino doesn't like Chocolate Milk!!!! Moving on from the randomness, after that Marc, TT and I wanted to eat Astons.... Then we saw the long Q at Cathay after we got there from AMK and guess what we ate..? KFC! Marc's fav! We could have had it at AMK but Meh whatever! Then I ate my DF Mars Bars :P! LOVE IT LOTS! And Marc sat down to talk to Jer while I oovoo chatted Dino and kept dcing cause of my no connection due to Starhub issues and the dam Wireless@SG disconnecting so DAMN often! Headed back later on with Marc and found out i got merit award YES! MONEY IS MONEY! IDGAF IF I HAS SOME MONEY :P! Not much emotional stuff here, we CHS people together have dead emotions, pretty much besides the day being awesome and all, i enjoyed talking to jer for a bit cause he is so much like Marc and I am sure we will click well if I were in CJC too! :)

Thursday was awesome as well, I had fun presenting to the class and purposely making mistakes WAHAHA! :D And seeing how the class woke up after my presentation was good showing that at least i can present half decently when it's fun and intrigueing :)! Bel told Dino that I looked like i enjoyed talking about the tortures part too much :O Maybe i was but WHO CARES it was fun looking at the grimacing faces of the course people! Faxing at public places was misread on purpose! Bet you people know how that goes :X and yea went on to quite an ovation after that showing how people actually listened :)! Made my day really!!! The other presenters were good! Tan Ying was scared but she presented well, Dion shined like hell too, Kit Yee was okay! Ben knew how to talk a load and think of a lot of last minute things! Shows his skill at it, and the rest of the presenters were great too! Cj and Christine weren't that extraordinary though! Could have been better :( But oh well :D! At least they tried! After all that we had a briefing which was dull and then I went to accompany Dino to Pasir Ris MRT! At least that was the plan... Oh yea before I forget, Dino and Brother West kissed mouth to mouth and it was CUTE LOL! Bryan and Alan were like EWWW but i was like AWWWWWWW SO SWEET HAHA! Back to the topic, I eventually went with Dino to find Mint sauce and Ground Mint! And oh my god you have no idea how hard it is to find =.= Cold storage didn't have either, NTUC had the sauce but NTUC Finest had like Mint so her Godma improvised! And i got invited over to her Godma's house and got to taste good food NO REGRETS :D! Her Godsis is cute too, she kept talking non-stop and she is not shy at all and outspoken :) Will benefit her lots next time she just doesn't know it yet! Ate Lamb Racks, Prawns, Spanish Rice and ate Ice-Cream for Dessert! Also managed to take a couple of swings of beer, both a light and heavy one, was a little disappointed though, didn't taste as good my fav one :((( Oh well it was good anyway! Special mentions to the Pumpkin Soup which i really enjoyed :D! Got to talk to her aunt and gave her some of my political views on SG, her aunt was impressed and said i was knowledgeable, haha i just shrugged it off, whatever my knowledge actually is, it can all be found on the net! :) She says I am like more Politically conscious i don't find that unique now in a society such as ours!!! I feel CJ is pretty good at talking about it too! :) Went home quite late an had my dinner at home as supper! Was good too! Dino and her Bro were talking about his relationship issues while they headed back but i decided not to get involved! :( I better not be since i don't know his gf! Don't want to lose a friend over it!

Anyway CT wise, Stats i feel okay about it hope i do well! MAEC not so much but fuck it Machiam Almost Everything Cheem sia MAEC sian. As Daryl would say SUCKER! HAHA

Friend of the days would have to be Dino really no fight at all, she has been the one making it so fun for me for the last few days, weeks and two months at school honestly! Wouldn't enjoy school without her :)! Although i said i would never put her there cause it's obvious i just want to reiterate the point HAH!

And finally since it's so late and i'm really super tired i shall end with a quote.

"And between now and then till I see you again I'll be loving you... LOVE ME!"- Singer who i forgot his name HAHA

and another quote.

"Love is more complicated that it sounds, you can love a friend, love a best friend, love a lover and love a family in the same and different way depending on how you decide to do it" - ME :D

Peace out people! MISS BLOGGING SORRY FOR LONG POST AND NOT POSTING MUCH WILL POST MORE OFTEN AND SOON AND BETTER! I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO IMPROVE! :(((!

No Rest for the Weary

In a kind of negative mood guys maybe won't write as much as usual! But i will try to manage :)

Today was a dull day at school so i really have nothing much to say about it, DSS was boring as hell, even for the discussion of the idea once i had given my idea everyone just pretty much said okay, which really makes me feel the group is dead thanks to my mistake and everyone giving up(I will explain later) Marc still seems kinda not happy with me but what the hell its not for me to worry about anyway if he is upset then let him be i won't give a shit or remember about the mistakes i do and regret cause i can't change them i just learn from it move on AND not repeat it again. But bleh explain it later. For DSS we were supposed to create a company from scratch, estimate profits/losses, staff, practically everything for PBL 1 and MORE added on like it makes things ANY EASIER! Seriously DSS just stabbed us in the heart in PBL 1 and now they are like "HERE! HERES SALT TO ADD TO YOUR WOUND I HOPE IT HELPS!" FUCK NO IT DOESN'T GRAH omg i can't believe the teachers can be so heartless about this kind of things =.= Anyway back to it after i gave my idea the group pretty much didn't want to discuss we were dead the only people who were really looking at it was Dino and T^2, they asked a couple of questions but besides that zilch, i mean we did look at other companies but Marc seemed like.. Not bothered anymore and Zach was looking through other ideas but didn't really care. Grah maybe it's just me but DSS sucked bad for my group and I hope I can motivate them to get better at it. Bro West was upset today anyway since we are on the topic of DSS cause his laptop isn't very good atm he couldn't finish half of the quiz and ended up getting frustrated, but at least he is going to get to a new laptop so hopefully its a LOT better and he can finish his work smoothly now :)!

School aside, after class Bro West Dino, My other half of DnD, C Gal, C Guy and I went to eat Teochew porridge WHOO sorry no pics for you guys later u guys get hungry and rage me HAHAHA! :P Enjoyed it lots and at $6++ per person i thought it was pretty okay, the food wasn't SUPER good but the ambiance of the few of us gathered there. We talked a little about MAEC too but not much we could do there since we still haven't gotten our question... Can't wait for Monday though can see DnD 2's house hehe i love going to new houses and explore :P!

Everyday brings a new experience as they say! Today's friend of the day or rather NEW friend of the day is CJ! What a shock it was after i had a lengthy conversation with him, it brought me to a new insight of CJ and made me realise what he was thinking and why he was reacting the way he does in life! He was rather sad back in Pri/Sec school and i can understand his pain cause he experienced similar things to me in Pri School and i really get why he got so pissed off that time when we talked about him behind his back. Anyway sad things aside we both talked about our life in secondary school and again i babbled on about how COMPETITIVE mine was omg it is like 10x worse than my course even though it is already competitive enough as it is. I just remember all about how me, JW , HE , NJ ,Francis , GIANT , Chris , Win Tan , Ryan , Jireh and the rest of 2-2 struggled through... Good times in 2-2 i miss it actually the fun, the laughter and how relaxed we were and none of that back stabbing rubbish... GOING OFF TOPIC! Back to CJ we talked very openly on the bus and then when we got off to change the bus guess what? Cause we were so caught up with getting off at BG we got off and then crossed the overhead bridge to the otherside, another sidetrack the lift there is FREAKING NOISY OKAY SUPER NOISY, it goes TEEE TEEE TEEE TEEE TEEE when you hold the close button and no its not soft its like FREAKING LOUD like a dog barking in your ear or a kid crying "FEED ME FEED ME". Bleh haha! Besides after we went over we were like "OH YA! The BG bus stop renovating must go other bus stop... Eh wait.." Thats when we realised whenever we saw each other in the morning it was at that bus stop and we had to take from the opposite side where we just crossed from! We laughed quite a bit about it and continued chatting about our lives. But most of his things were sad :( Heartbreaking but as it is confidential it will not appear here :) Sorry peepos!!! If you know me IRL then you can ask me! But you still got to be close to me!!! :DD(Hint hint at a certain someone!!! LOL)

Okay i missed a couple of days of blogging but yesterday sucked quite bad for me. Remember about the DSS i was talking about? Yea we pretty much did okay for the presentation then for the QnA, GG screwed totally cept T^2, the project outline? I forgot to print it WHEE MARKS FLY! And Marc seemed geniunely pissed off yesterday although it was better today! IBE was AWESOME LOL I got 16/20 i thought would only get like 13~15 lidat! Ada and I talked after the quiz and we were like, "Skim through the notes only right... HAHA!" then we both got the same score somemore! Goes to show me and Ada really understand what it means to be in such a sian sec school environment looks like not only me and Dino were stuck in an environment that we didn't really love.

Moving on, I remember Dino looking like crap yesterday while studying for DSS at first didn't disturb her when we were at the first LT but then she was like "GRAHHHH" and like "FUCKKKK" so when we moved over, I went over and looked at her study. I just felt that my presence there might calm her down, and she did slightly but she stressed like hell when our lecturer came in with the tests! Oh well but she did better than me in the end :O but she did wake up at 3! So she deserved it for putting so much effort in! Just worried that she gets stressed so easily :( I wish i could just lend more than my presence to calm her down I just suck at teaching people how to deal with stress! I mean i just throw mine all away LOL how can I advice people how to deal with stress when I'm not doing it right!! SORRY DINO BUDDY! D:

Which reminds me, yesterday was even more horrible cause i felt like crap for the DSS presentation, and not because i was nervous it was because i was sick as hell and like puked in the morning, i didn't really want Dino to worry but I was so worried i might pass my sickness to her that i tried not to stick to her too much! But she still sat next to me so much yesterday! Hope she is not feeling unwell :(! Oh and puking in the toilet bowl? Really not a good experience, dammit i really should have drank two days ago!!!@@@ Now i can't blame alcohol for making me puke :((( Been drinking a little too often lately but meh it'll stop after papers when i start to find all the people I love and care about to go OUT! WHOO. IPCC group!~ iMedia Group!~ and DINO AND TT WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Can't wait for wed to be OVER.

Anyway SHOPPING WHOO! Can't wait to go find for new clothes~! I really want to get a shirt that is for casual wear i have too many T-Shirts and I'm beginning to "mature" in clothes selections and i really want more shirts and polos i hope Mummy will let me get more stuff!!! :))))

Well HE-Man is coming over to sleepover now! Can't wait for him to come I MISS HIM LIKE HELL!!! Haven't talked to him much recently and even when i have was only a short period of time :( Nevermind got the whole of tonight to do it! Spy is really awesome!(NOT SPY AS IN PUO YEN! Although he is awesome too HAHA!) Cause he really is the one who is super patient with me and hilarious, and he appreciates me as a friend one of the only few people like that currently in IBZ, Sec School and Pri school.

For Pri school? Only 2 people really do it in my opinion DSZS95 and KC!~ Sec school has more, HE , JW , Shaun and a few more that i don't really want to name. Poly has T^2 and Dino so far but I hope Czar and CJ will get far closer to me! On this note I feel like I'm fading away from Bel maybe it's me but I am totally goanna put in more effort to try to get back on his good side! I really want him as a buddy not cause he is popular, not cause he is a great person, but because he is Bel. He just is!

Oh well what I'm thinking about now? Actually it's the time I spend with Dino, I just can't get over how fun it is, we don't do the crazy stuff I did sometimes in Sec school but really, I just enjoy how personal we are, I mean not contact wise but it just feels that everytime we talk, our hearts touch and it makes me feel warm inside. I haven't really had that feeling ever before, I haven't trusted someone so much before after THAT PERSON left, and I really feel Dino Lion Piggy Bestie has really helped me forget about her and about the other side of me. It has just... Left my thoughts, my studying is so much more calming now since I have no stress and I just hope I can help her more, sometimes I just feel useless when she needs help but i can't provide it to her... Makes me feel like a hopeless moron who doesn't know how to help his friends, after all i spent my life being the person who helps everyone, and being forgotten once they feel better but knowing that i helped them is good enough for me IDGAF if I'm forgotten if what i do is right. Someone once told me that I make myself sound righteous but no, that's not the point, sure it does make me sound better but I am the kind of person that just feels happy when I do something good, Mother Theresa's story really touched me back then and i feel that just doing good deeds without thanks makes me feel awesome too! I'm sorry Dino! I wish i could be there for you more often but I think and sleep too much!

OH and before i end off i slept 12 hours this morning! BEST FEELING EVER! If you get the chance do it people! IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE IN HEAVEN.


Haha okay time to end it off guys :P As usual here's a quote.

"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him." - Brendan Francis

And i find this so true, maybe that's why i liked Bro North at first :) And I am in love with Dino BTW! I LOVE YOU DINO BUDDY YOU ARE MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND EVERRRRRRRRRRRR :P!!!!!

Peace out all!

Stress is Underrated!

Today was a day full of ups and downs I have got to say, another special day in the life of a NP student. It started out AWESOME, i woke up at friggin 7 left house at 730 and reached school at like 840, almost the FASTEST i can EVER get to school! It shocked me like hell what's more i had to wait for like 10 mins for a bus to come at Botanic Gardens and still reach so dam fast! AWESOME START IS THE BEST!

Anyway MAEC tutorial was dam amazing, LOVED the teacher and her teaching style totally my type all the info got in so EASILY MAN! Shocking like hell, PLEASE STAY WITH US MS TAN^2, Pretty Please? :O Bleh moving on BMGT tutorial was meh fun too though and still got released early! Only trouble is MAEC group project now... Wonder if i should give in or the CJ group of three will hmmm... That's just one of the problems that popped up today! Had lunch with the other 3 Brothers of Wind and Dino today at KAP, was pretty good but i was super lazy to eat today ate dam slowly haha! Didn't talk much though me and Brother North still not doing extremely well with each other at the recovery stage but i don't blame her it's like probably my fault anyway at least we can talk now! Makes me feel more comfortable with her :)! Then after an awkward walk back to NP we sat down at 73 to do some work... Most of us at least i was listening to music and writing a story! I find that much more calming and stressing myself over studying is the last thing i want to do at that point of time I just decided to just relax and chill out, never completed the story though like i usually don't x.x but whateverrrrrrr at least i tried~!!

Spent a short amount of time with Dino today! Enjoyed it as usual, now after having that talk with the two love birds I have come to appreciate any amount of time i spend with Dino! Makes me understand how important even that short amount of time is to us as Besties :)! Hope she feels the same way though! Talked a little as i walked her to the bus stop after Bro West went for French, as i reminisced of that time where the three of us guided her to the bus stop when we first got to talk to each other, wondered as we walked there only the two of us now if i ever were to hurt her and make her walk that path alone next time due to my stupidity. Didn't bother to trouble her with my thoughts either! Talked about Dino and her BF! A bit about us and our stupidity(Mostly hers ahem ahem :D) and a lot of random things today!!!!

Watched Block B dance with Bro West today! Then watched as she taught some other school girls a dance, learnt she has extraordinary patience, noting that i can tell she would be an awesome project member as she is hardworking as hell too! Block B and I also talked a bit about Minotaurs and how much we still miss it despite not being that close at that time, I talked to her and Lingster for awhile too whilst waiting for Bro West to finish up with his French. Ended up with some small talk only though but the second best moment of the day is yet to come.

After meeting with several IBZ people, missing one bus due to Czar forgetting his laptop he and I finally got onto the bus at friggin 920, and as we made our slow trip home(Mostly standing) we talked and i really enjoyed it as we are both open and we both discussed some issues in the course as well as some of the good things that are going on as well! He also told me about BAOC stuffs alongside the Red Camp things that i was more than interested as well as thankful to learn about! We talked about some personal feelings on IBZ and ways to improve relationships too makes me really want to make him a closer friend and treasure him as a great buddy more! Needless to say he is DEFINITELY my buddy of the day! We are hopefully doing it tomorrow too! My only concern is that we don't do this more often LOL!

Kay as for the funny moment for today was when Junie said goodbye and we were talking bout how T^2 was awkward when they wanted to hug to say goodbye. Well we had that today as well! Only difference was I got to hug her instead of waving goodbye to her :D! Oh well me and junie aren't super close yet! But I am sure Korean will bring us two buds closer together :P.

Not a very long post today actually extremely tired sorry peeps! Exhaustion right now i need to wake up in like 4 hours to meet Czar at PR MRT at friggin 6 AM! But well worth it! Missing most of you pri/sec school guys now but I miss the IBZ peeps I'm close too just as much or even more sometimes when they're gone or i don't see them that often(Like Dino,T^2,Bro West and Czar atm!). Just hope we can reach a lot of our goals and make us all bonded as hell IBZ FIGHTING!

"A world with peace although supposedly perfect would be meaningless as without fights there will be no way to determine who is strong and who is weak and with peace there will be no way to show the true colours of ambitions of others and oneself." - Me

ONE WORD DSS!

Let me just start out with this... DSS  LETS GIVE U A NICE HAND!

God dammit i hate EVERY GOD DAMN THING ABOUT THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE. Seriously what kind of FUCKING TUTOR gives us this kind of CRAP. Honestly BLEH FUCK! And while im in this raging mode FUCK HOW ALL THE DSS TUTORS ARE PROGRAMMED TO FUCKING NOT TEACH US A SHIT AND INTRODUCE SELF LEARNING, FUCK THE HOT AND COLDNESS SHE TRIES TO SHOW US FUCK DSS IN GENERAL FUCK YOU!(Im trying my best not to spout hokkien vulgarities at the moment, i apologise if you are offended :P!) MY PAIN IS LIKE BEING DONE IN THE ASS TWICE IN 1 HOUR!

Okay enough on that crapload, today was actually pretty awesome i loved the small amounts of time i spend with my parents now, cause honestly ever since i went to poly i haven't had much time with them at all, now every single time i have time it's either spent on fun or projects or both. So i was glad as hell i managed to grab some of those precious moments back. CURRY FISH HEAD AND FRIED CHICKEN FOR LUNCH HELL YEA! Then my dad helped me with DSS which still ended up being "wrong" =.= But screw that anyway. Missed my mum like hell though was thinking about her and the moments we had in my life during church made me realise how much more important she is to me than any other woman in the world ever would, I would even give up my wife for my mum I LOVE HER TO BITS! I mean sure we fight like hell but thats cause we are so close:)!

Missing my sister... Need to post her letter tomorrow if not she will kill me! Missing her really really really like crazy it's... just different when i go home to an empty bedroom without my sis...  Makes me feel lonely when i have neither of my sisters, it's like a part of me just... disappeared. She's probably enjoying herself too much in Taiwan to be thinking bout me but yea... Maybe she can feel me missing her and she's missing me too! Man i'm so craving like Taiwanese Fried Chicken now~~~~~! FEEL LIKE EATING MY GOD! And HK wanton mee omg CRAVING LA MAXXXXX! Hehe :x

Anyway back to today enjoyed my time spent online with my secondary school friends, although we may not hang around one another as often anymore we are like still close :) Hopefully anyway Spy and JW arrrrr you don't know how much i miss us hanging in school and, everything about sec 3!!!!! Dammit although i think you may not read this ever I MISS YOU GUYS KAY YOU HAVE NO FRIGGIN IDEA! Your birthday wishes meant a lot to me!!!! Just wish we had sec 3 all over again once just to enjoy it all :)!

Yet again Junie was talking to me today haha and she's cute as usual :) She was raging about DSS! But she was still the Junie i know, the one who is always trying her best! The one who is awesome in so many ways :)! Only a few friends of mine are like that and she is the total same as my Sister MY GOD LOL!

So yea Sunday no friend of day again x.x i will do it tmr although i'm already suspecting who it is :O. Anyway me and Brother West are still oovooing im blogging and he's doing the DSS slides haha hanging around silently though! Second scare he gave me today already he said like "OMG DINO DIDN'T DO...oh wait" and i almost stabbed him!!!! ROAR!

Nothing much to post about today most of the stuff happened among the family :) Like i said i really enjoyed the time together i mean last time it used to be every Sunday now it's like 2 Sundays a month i'm just scared it will eventually become no days a month when i honestly to hell miss them like crazy sometimes. LOVE YOU DAD! LOVE YOU MUM :D

Anyhow it's getting late and i should probably get back to catching some shut eye... Peace out people x.x Nothing much today IM SORRY D:!

"I think i lost my mind at that time, how could i have left you? I only love you, I miss it, I really miss it now... Forgive me my love.... I regret doing it now....Why did i lose my mind at that time?" - Lee Seung Gi, Losing My Mind

Hard times with Harder Feelings

Second post guys! Earlier in the morning now not much time before church so maybe ima keep it simple... or just shoot it all out later... Meh. We'll see how it goes.
First thing on my mind is of course projects,holy shit all the projects are starting to weigh down on me, especially DSS we ALL LOVE DSS(Decision Supplimentary Spreadsheets, AKA EXCEL!). The Problem Based Learning is a pain in the butt i don't get why NO ONE in the course has gotten an answer yet, we have been trying and trying and trying SO GOD DAMN HARD and yet...Nothing just the damn minibus staring back in our face and giggling we have like 14 more hours to submission and dashing like crazy to try to answer the question... Fuck that shit seriously, but yea i have to complete the rest of the DSS assignments totally NOT looking forward to finishing that crap in the world. The other projects are better and not as stressful but they all still have deadlines and once again DSS FUCK YOU _|_!

Had an awesome day yesterday, awoken to Dino's call asking me to go to Expo! Was super looking forward to it but then her bro decided not to go, so we ended up not going but she did say one funny thing! "Then after Expo can go your house study!" or somewhere along those lines! It was hilarious cause her BF didn't allow her to do that and i chortled for quite a bit whilst she was oblivious and we talked a little then we put down. Only minutes later she called back and i could imagine the flushed look on her embarrassed face when she told me she just spoke to her BF!(BC^3) HAHA! Oh well it was funny while it lasted, talked a little more then put down. I also got to speak to her bro for the first time and he was nice(just like she said he would be) and we had a friendly little chat for awhile too.

Moving on, in short the day at Dino's house was FANTASTIC, we lepaked, ate, talked, laughed, watched videos and really enjoyed ourselves.(Although it was supposed to be a study session x.x) But in the end we did manage to accomplish some work and i threw IBE and the Stats Project out of the window, so at least we accomplished something! Dino made a wallpaper for us two yesterday too :) Was awesome cute although she called me a gay Dino T.T But oh well. That was most of what happened yesterday that was good.

However when we went to dinner with her bro we were eating and her brother made a passing comment about how nice i was and how Dino should get together with me, we laughed about it and then i told Dino that Brother West didn't get the ASCO post and she was shocked(so was i i thought she knew) to find out the results. So she called her BF and as they talked we 3 together told him about the passing comment, and god knows bad news and jokes DO NOT mix well! WHOO! And then she talked to him later on when we got back to her house after dinner but i felt MISERABLE! Sure i mean it wasn't my fault this time but hell when your one of the involved parties it doesn't matter if it was really your fault it EATS INTO YOU and it seemed like everytime me and Dino were together we always have fun but then something always happens that bugs Brother West, I just wish it didn't keep happening, this my happiness vs their happiness thing is like bleh, and really bugging me, sure it's not always me but why does it always seem to happen when we two are alone? It gets really annoying after sometime.

Anyway after i left Dino's house after watching half of Aces go Places(HK comedy of an investigation), i was really exhausted and had lots on my mind but i still slept on the bus. When i got back to West Plaza i saw a couple of my PR buddies(or rather most of my only PR buddies) drinking and chatting so i joined them for a bit, had a bottle but as i was talking to them my mind kept floating around all the problems, still bought food back to eat(I tend to eat a lot more when I think on top of what i already usually eat which is a lot for a SG kia.). Then i thought back about the day, did i enjoy myself? Sure of course i did but why, why is it always that their relationship is bugging me? It's not really my problem is it? But I just keep getting caught in this triangle and it seems the pushing and pulling keeps happening. I don't really know but whatever it is, this thing is still bugging the hell out of me now. Honestly it's not really my problem but i keep feeling guilty whenever i see that they have problems concerning me...

No friend of the day today! Cause there wasn't any school and i only saw two people today, Dino and her bro and obviously cause Dino cant be FOTD it would be her bro! He's an awesome person hope to be able to get to know him better as time goes on, nothing wrong with having more good friends right!

On a side thought i asked Dino about her Blog Post of her future and she thought about it awhile, i also happened to think about mine too, i mean honestly what do i want to do when i grow up? What are my goals? In sec 4 my mind would be totally blank but surprisingly in a short span of only 6 months i already am planning out the rest of my life. Business wise i really want to set up an FnB joint. My sisters could help out too cause my eldest sis wants to set up and ice cream parlor and my second sis wants to help out in the cafe/restaurant too! Life-wise I just want a wife with three kids, I know how difficult it will be but yea that's the way I want it to be. I will live in a 4 room HDB the typical Singaporean flat or maybe a bit smaller but that's the biggest i would go because I really want my kids to think im not that financially rich and get them to be more thrifty and unlike me not start saving only when they hit 17, these values work much better when they are introduced to you at a tender young age. I don't need a wife that is pretty or cute or anything that has to concern with external beauty, you know what kind of wife i would really want? Someone who has the purest heart and is loving and caring, cheesy as it may sound it's true. Why would i want a beautiful wife that hurts me all the time? That was what attracted me to Brother North(a girl :P) at first, it wasn't her looks or anything like that it was her heart and her caring! Anyway i know i will spend my first years of the workforce slogging it out, just like when i was in Seafood Paradise but whatever i already know the kind of shit they throw part timers and new comers i just have to tank it out and wait for the better days to come.

Oh well Hard times with Harder Feelings, I just feel sad that whenever me and Dino are alone together we always accidentally hurt Brother West and.... sometimes i think Dad is just right, he.... just makes everything that is hard sound so true that it bugs me to bits...

Oh well my Final quote as always i keep having quotes in my head sorry guys if you guys don't like it! You can close the page or scroll past it.

"All right now, I haven't learnt my lesson well, you see you can't please everyone but is it right to please only yourself?"-Me

Peace out people :)