Okay contrary to my title now I am a little sad right now, I guess I never felt like this before, loving somebody and never being angry with them, instead always feel I haven't done enough. This is not self-pity people, I just want to learn more sometimes. Dino is angry with me now, I have no clue why at the moment as it is, I was stupid enough not to pay attention to what I was saying and hurt her again, people say quarrels happen in every relationship almost everyday, but each on tears at my heart because I found a new way to hurt the person I love. She tells me not to be bothered by it but honestly how can I not be, I hurt somebody without my knowledge and I'm not angry that she is not telling me why but rather at myself for not knowing why. All I'm doing now is saying sorry like an idiot, but there is no point being sorry for something I don't know I have done wrong. A relationship is like a lesson that when you pass with flying colours, you enjoy all the fruits of your labour for the rest of your life, and I intend not to fail this test with Dino, why you may ask? Some people just find her to be quiet, others who know her better know her to be quirky, intelligent and funnily pervy. Personally? She is my Dino, the one who makes me laugh, the one who I worry about even when there is nothing wrong, the one whom I cherish in my heart, my soul, my body. I fear of her feeling I am using her, and above all I am petrified at the thought of losing her.
Enough with the sad talk though, there are so many more happier things that have happened over the weeks.
Maybe you realised by now if you didn't know, Dino and I are together now :)! Yay! HURRAY! WHOPEEE! Haha probably should tell you how it was at first.
On the 8th of August after I spent the day eating with Dino, Belson and her godaunts. I finally asked her, it was a bugging feeling something that started developing over the days after her 2nd breakup, I started seeing that most of the reasons I put as "Just cause I'm her best friend that's why I feel that way" were utter rubbish. Things like me being protective of her when she touched Bel's hand or even feeling scared when I couldn't be there for her! All evolved to something bigger and stronger. She told me she wasn't ready for a relationship much earlier in the day though, but I still asked her anyway because I felt the time was right. At Clarke Quay she said she still wasn't ready yet and told me some problems she would have even if we were in a relationship, I accepted the fact that she wasn't ready and began to prepare myself to wait for her to heal first because a two day relationship can ruin many lives.
National day evening, after MJ at darren's house I met Dino for Dinner with WL at town. They ate soup spoon and we talked, WL is a nice girl really(she knows JW too :O) and she is just as silly and retarded as Dino is! Hope I can become her good friend too :x Later on after I sent her back to her block, we sat at the playground and talked, talked about how the relationship should be and re-emphasising the points that could affect the relationship. She also said that she missed me when she was karaoking with YTXE and that played a part as well! We officially got together then, minutes before midnight and I had mixed feelings going back home, would I be good enough? Would we be happy? Would this even work out well at first? I got my answers soon enough.
The days after that breezed by, papers one after another, hours spent with her, nights spent talking to her and missing out one dinner without her and RKS! We enjoyed the whole process, us being mushy, retarded and me being super corny! Haha and she says she doesn't like it but who knows :P!
Exams were bad in general, I do not want to comment.
However yesterday we met RKS and we had a good time! Supposed to have sang karaoke but ended up slacking at Dino's house! Which was fun! Chris was sad though! :(((( She felt that she was not part of the group and she felt so hurt. She told us but.... It hasn't gotten much better. I don't want to type too much cause she may be upset as I'm typing too much on the net :x! I AM GOANNA MAKE SURE SHE FEELS PART OF THE GROUP :D!
Anyway later on I went with Dino to print photos, and she got angry with me! I forget sometimes that she is still a girl and still is sensitive. My insensitive ways I am used to by talking to guys isn't going to work well! I demotivated her by saying things like "See I told you" and "You sure won't want to do it la"! Stupid of me really, I must remember to take note after yesterday and today especially that I must be sensitive to what I say and what I do, think before doing and saying things Dylan, not on impulse like an idiot!!!! We talked under her void deck to settle the problem and guess what we both cried, not because we were frustrated and angry with one another, but rather because I was so scared and upset that I hurt her so easily because of not thinking. She told me how she felt she was a failure too, in a few things and we talked about that. I love how we settle problems quickly though, feels worlds apart from my other relationships! :) Enjoying it more too.
Now I'm stuck still thinking about what I have done wrong today. I may never learn the reason but I now know that I need to look before I leap and think about how she will react before I say something, I know only so little about my lovable Dino and I just hope I can learn enough to make her happy, after all I want her to always be my baby! :)
"Being loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply takes courage!" - Lovequotes.com :)
Peace out ya'll!!!! :D
